Behavior is Communication

Yes, you heard me right. Behavior is communication. Yes, you have heard this before but it so much more than a cute post on instagram (guilty as charged). So what does it mean? Behavior is communication.

Your kids are trying to tell you what the need. Are you listening?

The kid throwing the chair across the room? Yep, she's are communicating something.

The kid running circles around the carpet?

Yep, he's telling you something.

The kid walking out of your classroom?

Yep, him too.

The kid screaming "I'm not doing that"?

Yes, her too.

What are you kiddos trying to tell you? Are you paying attention to the message? Are you trying to decipher the code? Are you listening?

When kiddos reactions to circumstances result in disruptive or dangerous or seemingly inappropriate behaviors one of three things is happening.

1. The student doesn't have a better way to communicate their wants and needs

2. The student doesn't know how to appropriately communicate their wants and needs or

3. We aren't listening

So our first goal is deciphering the code... finding the WHY?

Why do we do what we do? What is the purpose? What is the payoff? What does he gain? What does she avoid?

What is the FUNCTION?

WHAT THE.... FUNCTION???

1. Escape (avoidance)

2. Gains access

What is the student trying to avoid or escape?

1. Attention

2. Sensory input

3. Activity/ task

4. Situation

5. Environment

What is the student trying to gain?

1. Attention

2. Sensory input/output

3. Tangible

And yes maybe you have some kiddos out there that "doing it for fun" or "enjoying it" but have you stopped think of why? Does that student push his peers as a way to engage and "play" with them? Does he lack social skills and play skills in order to gain access to peer's attention? Does your student have the communication skills to ask "will you play with me?"

And what about those kids "trying to save face"... yes, there is a function hidden in there too. Is your student academically behind?? and know it? The jokes and disruptive behavior may be a way to escape the task, avoid the situation of his friend's knowing he can't read, and gaining attention to peers on his terms.... the funny or disruptive terms. There is a function.... there is always a function.

What about the kid who hits you and then gives you a hug? What does the student want? Attention right? Now what, what can we do to replace the hitting with? What can you teach the student to replace the behaviors and serve the same function?

What about the student who is "doing great" and then "out of the blue" starts screaming. Maybe he is screaming "I want the legos RIGHT NOW! I said I want them right F***ing NOOOOW!"--- the function is easy right? He wants access to his highly preferred. His behavior is definitely communicating what he wants. It is more important to look at WHY he is doing what he is doing than it is to look at exactly what he is doing.

So now that we know why little Johnny is doing what he is doing we can focus on what we want him to do instead.

What is our goal? What is the outcome we want to see? What replacement behaviors can we teach and reinforce that serve the SAME function. That is the kicker... the replacement behavior has to serve the same function as the one you are trying to replace.

If your student is cussing you out to gain access to an iPad what can you replace that with? What functional communication can you teach? How about "I want iPad please"... and once that skill is mastered how about a waiting protocol? Because it isn't appropriate for a student to cuss and scream at his teacher to get what he wants. And part of life isn't getting what you want exactly when you do it. Waiting is a life skill.

If your student "attacking" other students to gain attention flip the script and teach him ways to gain attention. Teach him how to ask "play with me". Teach him how to play a game. Teach to say "Mrs. L, talk to me please". Teach him what are good choices with friends and what are bad choices with friends. Teach him how to make friends, how to greet a peer, how to to start a conversation....

How will he communicate his wants and needs appropriately? How will he get what he needs to be successful? The answer is communication. The answer is functional communication. The behavior we don't want is communicating so now let's give him a desired, appropriate behavior to communicate those same needs and wants. So again, your students are telling you something are you listening?

What phrases can we teach? What is functional communication? Simple as that... communication that serves a function. It is functional for the student. So what can we teach to serve the same function as the undesired behaviors?

Here are some of my go to functional communication phrases to teach:

"I need a break"

"I want to play"

"Talk to me please"

"Leave me alone"

"I need help"

When we are talking about behavior as a form of communication we aren't only talking about non-verbal kiddos or kiddos with limited verbal skills. We are talking about ALL kids and ALL people. The kid cussing you out who seems to have all the language in the world, that behavior is communication and serving a function. We can teach him new phrases to teach so that he can earn access to what he wants and needs.

Your kiddos are telling you what they need. They are telling you what they want. One way or another they are communicating to you make sure it's the behavior you want. Teach them the behavior that will help them be successful in life.

~Kaylan